


Chicken Man

by AgentMaryMargaretSkitz



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Star Wars - All Media Types, The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Birds, Crack, Han Solo Lives, Laurel Lance Lives, Leonard Snart Lives, Oliver can talk to birds, because shit always happens on the island, implied hanleia, shit happened on the island, utter crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 06:02:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8958913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentMaryMargaretSkitz/pseuds/AgentMaryMargaretSkitz
Summary: My name is Oliver Queen. For five years, I was tossed from one hellish situation to another. When I returned to my city, I became a vigilante to save it. Now, as the Green Arrow, my friends and I are facing a new threat. Being the Green Arrow hasn’t been enough. I needed help to take down Damien Darhk. I needed something to stop him once and for all.
Something unexpected.
Arrow AU- Oliver is able to speak bird.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hanorganaas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanorganaas/gifts).



> This fic is the result of hanorganaas and myself kind of creating a universe where Oliver is able to speak to birds (mainly chickens), and subsequently the chickens help fix things in the Arrowverse such as preventing Laurel Lance from ever dying and saving Han Solo. It's also utter crack that was written over the span of three months whenever I could find the time.
> 
> Therefore, I dedicate this to her. Happy early Hanukkah.

_My name is Oliver Queen. For five years, I was tossed from one hellish situation to another. When I returned to my city, I became a vigilante to save it. Now, as the Green Arrow, my friends and I are facing a new threat. Being the Green Arrow hasn’t been enough. I needed help to take down Damien Darhk. I needed something to stop him once and for all._

_Something unexpected._

* * *

   


“I’m sorry, you can do what?” Diggle asked, as the rest of the members of Team Arrow stared at Oliver.

The first vigilante looked from the chicken that he had been clucking too. One minute, they had just been watching the fowl wander in the front yard of the safe house, and the next Oliver had started forward, making the same noises as them.

“I can communicate with chickens,” he said as if he’d just made a comment on the weather. “It’s not as hard as you think.”

“And how long has that been going on for?” Thea frowned.

Oliver shrugged. “Since the island.”

                No one was too surprised by that answer. In the five years that Oliver had been missing, a lot of extremely strange things had happened to him. Lian Yu just seemed to be an epicenter of weird. It probably would have remained the strangest place on Earth had the particle accelerator not exploded in Central City and created all the metahumans.

“So now Ollie can talk to chickens,” Laurel stated with a shake of her hear before stopping. “Hang on, is it just chickens, or can you talk to all birds?”

Oliver stood up, the chicken cradled in his arms. “Depending on the kind of bird, it varies. Relatively, it’s mostly the same with some variations for different birds. Chicken and sparrow are the easiest to understand and master.”

The Black Canary shrugged. “Well, if Vandal Savage comes at us with an army of chickens, then we know you can stop them.”

* * *

_Months later_

                Damien Darhk held the arrow in his hands, prepared to stab Lance’s eldest daughter. This would show him that he wasn’t messing around with these heroes anymore. But before he could make his move, he heard a strange, distracting noise. Frowning, Darhk turned with the arrow still in hand toward the source of it. It was clucking, and it was coming from Oliver Queen. The Green Arrow himself was making chicken noises.

                The Black Canary was staring in utter disbelief. Andy Diggle and Malcolm Merlyn had similar expressions on their faces. Queen continued to cluck and squawk. Darhk was starting to feel like he should just stab the archer in green first, and then kill Laurel Lance.

“Is this supposed to scare me?” he taunted when the Green Arrow finished his chicken impression.

The man under the hood smirked as the sound of clucking began to start, and steadily grew louder. It didn’t sound like just one chicken though. If anything, it sounds like a whole flock of bird getting closer and closer toward him.

                The doors burst open at the point where the bird cries reached an almost deafening level. A hoard of birds came flying into the room, squawking and clucking and cawing angrily. The majority of the fowl army was chickens, but there were crows and pigeons and sparrows and other birds. Oliver Queen glared darkly as his feathered soldiers flew straight at Darhk. The villain was so taken aback that he didn’t register the attack until a swarm of chickens engulfed him and began to peck at him. When he did try to react, the chickens were too much for him. He was so distracted that he didn’t even notice the Green Arrow, the Black Canary, and their other hero friends make a hasty exit.

                The next day, Damien Darhk and his Ghosts who had been with him in the prison were found dead, pecked to death. Their flesh was in tatters, and their eyes were missing. Feathers were all over the crime scene, and witnesses swore they has seen a massive flock of birds fly into Iron Heights. Within a few weeks, Team Arrow had eliminated the last of the threat to Star City. Havenrock was not destroyed. Laurel was alive. Oliver was elected mayor.

Things worked out, and it was all due to the chickens.

* * *

   


                Word of what Oliver could do reached Team Flash in Central City. Despite being wrapped up in the Zoom debacle, all the members of the team were still surprised to hear that stoic and grumpy Oliver Queen talk to chickens. It was information that they filed away for later use. For all they knew, there could be a metahuman who could control birds, and Oliver could be used to diffuse the situation.

Turned out that chickens came into play in another way.

                Barry was about to try and run back through time to save his mother again. He was determined to do it this time. However, what he didn’t know was that Cisco had experienced a vision of the results of this latest time travel stint. So he called up Oliver.

“Can your birds stop Barry?” he asked over the phone.

                A speaker was hooked up to broadcast Oliver’s bird calls. As Barry was about to run, he was swarming by sparrows and pigeons. They gave him some good pecks in before Iris came across the scene. She shooed them away before getting Barry back home to heal. They decided that maybe they should take it as a sign that he shouldn’t go back.

Cisco thanked Oliver for stepping in and getting the birds to stop Barry. “I owe you one.”

“Actually, can I cash in on that now?” Oliver replied.

The metahuman had not expected such a quick response. “Yeah, sure. What do you need?”

* * *

   


“Ollie can talk to birds?” Sara repeated in disbelief when the news was broken to her and the other Legends. They had come to return the cold gun to STAR Labs, and found both Teams Arrow and Flash there already. Barry and the others were stunned to hear that Leonard Snart was dead, and even more so when they learned the way he had gone out- as a hero.

“They actually saved Laurel,” Thea chimed in, glancing at where the woman was sitting beside her sister. “And they killed Darhk.”

“They’ve also done some other stuff too,” Laurel added. “Sometimes Oliver calls them in to help us on the streets.”

                Sara and Mick looked at each other, and then to Lisa Snart, who Mick had brought along so she could hear the news of her brother’s death. While all who knew Leonard Snart were saddened by his death, those three were most rattled by it, even if they didn’t show it on the outside. Each of them had cared for him in some way, and wanted him back.

“So you think they’ll hold up okay with time travel?” Mick asked.

* * *

   


It took a few days to finalize their plans and work out all the kinks, but soon a group of heroes (which Mick strongly objected to being called) boarded the Waverider to get to the Vanishing Point.

* * *

   


                Something flew past Leonard Snart’s head as he watched Sara leave with Mick. His relieved thoughts that they would be safe from the explosion fell away as something landed on the hand holding down the failsafe. When he looked into the device, there was a chicken settling down on top of the failsafe. If a chicken could look determined, then this one certainly did.

                He pulled his hand away from the trigger. The charge still continued to build up. The chicken was still on top of the failsafe, showing no signs of moving. He had the chance to run, and decided to take it. As he turned around, something grabbed onto him. The world flew past him in a blur until it jolted to a stop. He staggered a little before realizing that he was back on the Waverider. Barry Allen was smiling at him triumphantly at the rest of the Waverider team, along with Oliver Queen.

“Sara, get us out of here!” Rip shouted toward the Captain’s seat, where Sara was sitting.

The assassin shot a smile Leonard’s way before the ship moved forward violently, and everyone grabbed onto something that was secured down. Once they had cleared the explosion, Leonard looked over and saw Barry grinning at him.

“What?” he scowled.

“You were willing to die for your team,” the speedster said proudly. “And you claimed you had no interest in being a hero.”

Leonard rolled his eyes.

* * *

   


                Once everyone had welcomed Leonard back, they weren’t planning on going back to Central City 2016 just yet. There was still one more thing to do. Kendra had been the one who proposed the idea, and everyone had immediately agreed to it. It was purely petty revenge, but still it was incredibly satisfying to watch a 17th century Vandal Savage get mobbed by a swarm of hawks.

* * *

   


“So how was time travel?” Cisco asked Oliver as he led the other man down the halls of STAR Labs. “Was it like Doctor Who?”

Oliver had only seen the show with Felicity a few times, and none of the episodes that he had seen included the people who traveled with the Doctor face-planting or talking in garbled speech after they had traveled through time.

“Not exactly,” he said honestly, but he hadn’t come to talk about the side effects of time travel. “But you said you had news about our project?”

“About that…” Cisco grinned sheepishly. “I know you wanted to see if a neural link could be established in your chicken to see if it could link your calls to transmit throughout Central City, or wherever the bird was.”

“I’m sensing there’s a ‘but’ coming.”

Cisco nodded. “So the testing was going pretty well, but then something happened and we ended up having to clear out the garage and transfer her in there.”

“Why?” Oliver frowned as they arrived at the doors.

The engineer sighed and opened the doors. When Oliver saw what was inside, his eyes widened.

“Oh.”

“Yeah…”

* * *

   


“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Cisco held up his hands in a time out signal. “You’re telling me that there’s an actual dimension that you can go to where Star Wars is real?”

“There is,” Rip nodded as Jax and Cisco’s grins grew wider. “Although I have banned from Corelia.”

“How’s you get banned off of there?” Jax asked. Knowing Rip, it had to be a good story.

“It’s quite a long story, not to mention embarrassing.”

“So we can travel to this awesome dimension,” Cisco said, barely containing his glee.

“Yes, although why you would-”

The metahuman who called himself Vibe placed a hand on Rip’s shoulder. “We could be able to stop a great and heinous crime from ever being committed. We could prevent it, and a thousand voices would cry out in relief and happiness.”

The former Time Master sighed. “You want to save Han Solo, don’t you?”

“Absolutely.”

“I’m down for that,” Jax admitted with a shrug. “Wouldn’t mind blasting Kylo Ren off of that bridge.”

“No, the Walking Timebomb needs to get back to his Ginger Asshole Boyfriend,” Cisco countered before turning back to Rip with pleading eyes. “Rip, we could save the Star Wars universe.”

“Someone say Star Wars?” Leonard’s voice called out moments before he entered.

Rip groaned. Why had he ever thought it was a good idea to get people from this era to help him stop Savage?

* * *

   


“Ray!”

“Cisco, hey!”

“I need your help. And when I say help, I actually mean your tech.”

Ray stared in puzzlement. “My…tech?”

“Yeah. Is it possible to use your suit to shrink down something really big, and then regrow it later?”

The Atom hesistated, and then nodded. “What do you need it for?”

“Chickenasaurus Rex.”

“Come again?”

“It’s better if I show you, trust me.”

* * *

   


“I’m being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain.”

Han Solo stepped towards his son. He wanted to be able to help Ben desperately. It had been years since he had seen him. His son might be a man now, but Han still remembered the little dark haired toddler who had been like a smaller shadow, following him wherever he went.

“I know what I have to do,” Ben continued. “But I don’t know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?”

                He hadn’t heard those words in what felt like a lifetime. Ben had said those four words many times in his younger years, and they had grown less and less frequent as he had grown up and taken to doing things himself. Right now, Han could see that Ben truly needed help to get home. They could walk out of here together, go home to Leia. Together, they could stop Snoke and the First Order.

“Yes,” he nodded. “Anything.”

                Ben wordlessly pulled out his lightsaber and held it out to his father. As Han reached out to take it, something knocked it out of the air. The weapon clattered to the metal floor of the walkway they were on. Over the edge, whatever had hit it was falling down the cavern. Both father and son stared down at it before something flew over them, and then looked back up.

                An enormous white bird was circling above them, followed by a trail of small birds. Two men rode on the back of the large one. One held a bow and arrow, a green hood hiding his face. The other had long black hair and was clinging to his companion’s back. Even from where he stood down below, Han could see the wide smile stretched across his face.

“Han Solo!” the hooded man bellowed suddenly in a deep voice.

Han raised his eyebrows. He had no idea of who this person was, so he couldn’t have pissed him off.

“Go home and spoon your wife!”

                Hood shot an arrow down toward him. It landed between Han and Ben. Neither had time to react before a bright flash emitted from it. Han was blinded by it, and stumbled backwards. The heel of his boot missed the walkway, instead tipping him into the open air. Rey screamed out from up above. His vision started clear up as he fell backwards off the solid surface and tumbled down into the cavern.

                Just when he thought it was the end, Han felt something catch him from behind. His fall stopped, and the thing started to rise up in the air with him. He couldn’t see who was carrying him, but they were taking him over to where Rey and Finn were standing. The two were staring in astonishment as whoever had saved him set him down on his feet. When Han turned around to get a good look at his savior, his confusion over the recent string of events grew when he saw the man in a strange suit of blue and red armor.

“Are you okay?” the man asked, grinning at them.

“Fine,” Han nodded as explosions started to ring out. The two idiots on the white bird were still circling around the interior.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” his savior chuckled before setting his face straight. “But um, you’re going to want to get out here. Take the Falcon and head back to the Resistance base. And take that guy’s advice with Leia.”

“I think I will.”

The man grinned again. “Great! And can I say it’s a huge honor to meet you. I never thought this would ever happen to me but it really is.”

Han frowned at him.

“But you really should get going,” he added, looking back at the bird. “And I need to get going too. Rip’s not eager to stick around long. He’s worried someone’s going to find out what happened to him on Corellia.”

The man in the armor flew off on his own. Han watched him go in disbelief. The guy seemed overly perky, but he had saved Han’s life. If he ever encountered him again, the smuggler was going to get his name.

Finn was shouting that they needed to go, and Han followed after the kid. They needed to get off this base before everything went to hell.

And then he was going back to Leia.

* * *

   


“In spite of my worst fears, preventing the death of Han Solo didn’t have any negative effects on the timeline here,” Rip told Oliver and Cisco once they had Rex the giant chicken minaturized again put in the cargo bay with the rest of the birds. “Apparently, his death was a time aberration. It never should have happened, but something went wrong.”

“I knew it!” Cisco grinned victoriously. “I knew it wasn’t right!”

Rip turned to Oliver. “Mr. Queen, you played a crucial role in this. Thank you.”

“No problem,” the Green Arrow replied. “As long as he gets home safe.”

“And gets back with Leia,” Cisco added under his breath.

The two men turned toward him.

“Oh come on!” he protested. “They’re one of the most iconic couples ever!”

Cisco looked like he was warming up for a big speech, but was stopped by Gideon cutting into the conversation. “Captain Hunter?”

“Yes, Gideon?”

“I believe your presence might be required in the kitchen. Mr. Rory and Dr. Palmer appear to be engaging in what they call a ‘lightsaber duel’.”

“A what?!”

“During our visit to the Starkiller base, Dr. Palmer apprehended the weapon of Kylo Ren, and gave it to Mr. Rory,” the AI explained. “Apparently, Dr. Palmer has also been trying to develop a similar weapon in his spare time. The two are now seeing how the two weapons compare against each other.”

Rip heaved a sigh. “And there’s no one else around stopping them?”

“Mr. Snart, Ms. Lance, and Mr. Jackson are all watching, and have a bet going for who will prevail. I calculate a sixy-five percent chance of an accident occurring soon.”

“Of course it would,” Rip muttered as he headed off the bridge and in the direction of where Oliver and Cisco could only assume the kitchen was.

“Wonder how often he gets that look on his face with them,” Cisco remarked. “But that duel sounds awesome.”

“Only until someone gets hurt,” Oliver sighed.

Cisco shook his head. “You have to suck the fun out of everything, don’t you, Chicken Man?”

“What?”

“You can talk to birds, I had to think of a new code name.”

Oliver snorted. “Yeah, I think I’ll stick with Green Arrow.”

“Whatever you say, Chicken Man.”

**Author's Note:**

> The 'Go home and spoon your wife' line will never stop killing me. Thank you to hanorganaas for inspiring that line, this universe, and dealing with my weirdness.


End file.
